Open Spotify in Private Mode

by Nicholas Cahill

Version 20 (July 26, 2024)

Download (152 downloads)

It IS possible!

This will: Open Spotify. Click Home. Click Profile. Click Privacy and Settings. Click Privacy and social menu. If private mode is not active, click private mode. Click Home.

V20: hello from the inevitable future, where all of humanity has been uploaded to a simulation which is powered by the excess heat produced by a planet-spanning sentient AI server cluster navigating the Spotify settings menu system. Changes to the menu system now occur randomly every 20-50 nanoseconds (not, unlike the time of the system beginning around the 2020s) to ensure the AI never finds the Private Mode button. The human consciences in the net now control their synthetic music listening privacy by dedicating a portion of their allotted network quantum process cycles to obfuscating the required bounces of the data signal off countless satellites passing overhead in the portions of the omni-net fabric that have not succummed to Kesler Syndrome. It's a tenuous balance, that surely cannot last forever.
V19: the year is 2070. It's a stark, unforgiving future. The Spotify Private Mode button is buried under 50 layers of settings sub-menus, one for each update released per year (none of which were asked for). Spotify UI engineers gorge themselves on the blood dripping from app users' fingertips. It takes this automation fifteen minutes to do what would take a normal human lifetime.
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V16: updated for Spotify version which moved the Settings button again (which no one asked for). Various fixes. Added 10 sec timeout.
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V14: Spotify software engineers finally fired the idiot that moved the settings button to a profile page. Order restored to the universe and this flow.
V13: Spotify software engineers can't help but rearrange all the invisible UI elements in every update. Fixed.
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V10: updated for Spotify version 8.7.44.968 (06/28/22) which moved the Settings button to the Profile page (which no one asked for).

Timeouts are customizable.

Known issues/limitations:
-May not work in non-English versions. Not sure the cause of the reviewer's issue.

3.5 average rating from 2 reviews

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